Childhood trauma is unfortunately a reality for many people. A lot of times children who experience trauma don’t get the help they need at the time. It might be because help wasn’t available, they had no one to turn to, or parents or caregivers just didn’t know about the trauma. It might even be that the parents were the cause of the trauma. Whatever the case may be, you might think that it is in your past and that you have a handle on it. You may even hardly ever think about it or buried it so deep in your subconscious that you don’t even realise the trauma is there. The reality is that unresolved childhood trauma can wreak havoc on your life.
Trauma doesn’t need to be a big life changing event. Even the smallest things can be traumatic. The death of a parent; physical, sexual or mental abuse; changing schools or moving around a lot; feeling unloved or being bullied are just a few examples of experiences that can lead to trauma … everyone experiences life in his or her own way. The truth is that in later life childhood trauma can present itself in many ways, and you might not even realise that it is happening.
In adulthood trauma experienced as a child can present itself in any the following ways:
- You have a need to fix others
- You are prone to people pleasing
- You have co-dependent relationships
- You have a constant need for external validation
- You feel like you are on high alert all the time
- You have a fear of abandonment
- You are not prioritising your own needs
- You have a constant need to prove yourself
- You are tolerating abusive behaviour
- You have difficulty setting boundaries
- You attract narcissistic or unsuitable partners
Also read my article on how childhood trauma can have an influence on your relationships as an adult.
Fortunately with the help of a trauma counsellor you can work through your trauma. During therapy you will learn to deal with your trauma, built healthy relationships, learn to set personal boundaries, grow your confidence and learn to love yourself again. Your trauma doesn’t need to define you. You can live a happy and fulfilled life.
If you or a loved one has experienced childhood trauma please seek trauma counselling. It is never too late to take back control of your life.