Toxic positivity is the idea that no matter what we are feeling, we should focus on being positive and ignore the negative. It’s a way of thinking that encourages us to only put a positive spin on everything, even when the situation may not call for it. While this can be beneficial in some instances, in many cases toxic positivity can be damaging. It can be easy to get caught up in the idea that everything must be seen through a positive lens, but what if that positive spin is actually doing more harm than good? The idea of forcing positive thinking, downplaying or ignoring real issues, and creating an unrealistic outlook on life can easily invalidate what someone is feeling and make them feel even worse. It’s important to recognise when positivity is toxic and to practice a more balanced approach to our wellbeing.
Defining Toxic Positivity: What It Is and What It Looks Like
Toxic positivity is a term that has gained traction in recent years, but what exactly does it mean? At its core, toxic positivity is the belief that we should always maintain a positive attitude, regardless of the circumstances. It encourages the notion that we should push aside any negative emotions or experiences and focus solely on the positive. While this may sound appealing on the surface, it can have damaging effects on our mental health.
When we constantly suppress negative emotions and put on a facade of positivity, we deny ourselves the opportunity to process and heal from trauma or difficult experiences. Instead of addressing our feelings and seeking appropriate support, toxic positivity suggests that we should simply “stay positive” or “look on the bright side.” This can be especially harmful when it comes to experiences of grief, loss, or trauma.
Counselling and therapy are essential tools for promoting wellbeing and personal growth. However, toxic positivity can undermine the effectiveness of these resources. By minimising or invalidating negative emotions, it becomes difficult to have honest and meaningful conversations with therapists or counsellors. In order to truly heal and find resolution, it is important to acknowledge and accept the full range of our emotions, both positive and negative.
Recognising toxic positivity is crucial for our own wellbeing and the wellbeing of others. It is not healthy or realistic to be positive all the time. It is normal and natural to experience a wide range of emotions, and embracing these emotions can actually contribute to our overall growth and resilience.
The Damaging Effects of Toxic Positivity on Mental Health
Toxic positivity may seem harmless at first, but the reality is that it can have detrimental effects on our mental health. By constantly pushing aside negative emotions and experiences, we are denying ourselves the opportunity to heal and process trauma.
When we suppress our emotions and put on a facade of positivity, we are essentially bottling up our feelings instead of addressing them head-on. This can lead to unresolved trauma and can prevent us from finding true healing and resolution. It’s important to remember that emotions are a normal part of being human, and suppressing them can have serious consequences.
In addition, toxic positivity can undermine the effectiveness of counselling and therapy. When we minimise or invalidate our negative emotions, it becomes difficult to have honest and meaningful conversations with therapists or counsellors. In order to truly benefit from these resources, we must be willing to acknowledge and accept the full range of our emotions.
Furthermore, toxic positivity can create unrealistic expectations and put pressure on individuals to always appear happy and positive, even when they are struggling internally. This can lead to feelings of shame and inadequacy, as individuals may feel like they are failing to live up to society’s standards of constant positivity.
The damaging effects of toxic positivity on mental health cannot be overlooked. It is essential that we recognise when positivity turns toxic and be aware of the impact it can have on our overall wellbeing. By acknowledging and accepting our negative emotions and experiences, we are allowing ourselves to heal and grow.
How to Recognise When Positivity Turns Toxic
Toxic positivity may not always be obvious, as it can easily disguise itself as a seemingly harmless and uplifting mindset. However, it’s important to recognise when positivity turns toxic in order to protect our mental health and foster genuine growth. Here are some key indicators to look out for:
- Invalidating Emotions:
Toxic positivity often invalidates or dismisses negative emotions by suggesting that we should always focus on the positive. If you find yourself or others constantly brushing off feelings of sadness, anger, or frustration, this could be a sign of toxic positivity. It’s crucial to acknowledge and accept these emotions as valid and important for our overall wellbeing. - Denying Reality:
Toxic positivity encourages us to ignore or downplay the realities of difficult situations. It may involve denying or minimising the impact of trauma, loss, or other challenging experiences. While maintaining a positive outlook can be beneficial, it should never come at the expense of denying reality. It’s important to confront and address the challenges we face rather than brushing them aside. - Dismissing Support:
Toxic positivity often discourages seeking support or counselling, suggesting that we should simply “stay positive” and avoid dwelling on negative experiences. However, genuine growth and healing require addressing and processing our emotions with the help of qualified professionals. If toxic positivity is causing you to dismiss or overlook the value of therapy or counselling, it’s time to reevaluate your mindset. - Feelings of Pressure and Inadequacy:
When positivity becomes toxic, it can create unrealistic expectations and pressure to always appear happy and positive. This can lead to feelings of shame or inadequacy when we are unable to maintain a facade of constant positivity. Recognise that it’s okay to have bad days and experience negative emotions – it’s all part of being human.
By recognising these signs, we can begin to identify and address toxic positivity in our lives. Remember, true positivity comes from embracing the full spectrum of emotions and allowing ourselves the space to heal and grow.
The Importance of Accepting Negative Emotions and Experiences
In a society that often prioritises positivity above all else, it can be easy to fall into the trap of toxic positivity. We’re constantly bombarded with messages that tell us to “just think positive” or “look on the bright side,” but the reality is that life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Negative emotions and experiences are an inevitable part of the human experience, and accepting them is crucial for our overall wellbeing.
When we suppress or deny our negative emotions, we’re essentially bottling them up inside, which can have serious consequences for our mental health. Emotions, both positive and negative, serve as signals from our body, guiding us towards understanding and addressing our needs. By ignoring or invalidating these negative emotions, we’re denying ourselves the opportunity to process and heal from difficult experiences.
Accepting negative emotions doesn’t mean wallowing in them or dwelling on the negative aspects of life. It simply means acknowledging their existence and allowing ourselves to fully experience and express them. By accepting negative emotions, we can learn valuable lessons about ourselves and the world around us. We can gain insight into our triggers and vulnerabilities, and we can develop greater empathy and compassion for others who are going through similar struggles.
Moreover, accepting negative emotions and experiences allows us to cultivate resilience and personal growth. It is through facing adversity and working through our challenges that we can develop strength and wisdom. By embracing the full range of our emotions, we can tap into a deeper understanding of ourselves and harness our emotions as tools for growth and transformation.
In a culture that often stigmatises and shames negative emotions, it takes courage to break free from the toxic positivity mindset and embrace the importance of accepting negative emotions and experiences. But by doing so, we are opening ourselves up to a more authentic and fulfilling life. So, let’s give ourselves permission to feel all of our emotions, both positive and negative, and remember that it’s okay to not be okay.
Strategies for Practising Genuine Positivity without Falling into Toxicity
It is however possible to cultivate genuine positivity without falling into the trap of toxic positivity. Here are some strategies to help you maintain a healthy and balanced approach to positivity:
- Practice Self-Awareness:
Take the time to reflect on your emotions and experiences. Acknowledge both the positive and negative aspects of your life without judgment. By becoming more self-aware, you can better understand your triggers and vulnerabilities, allowing you to respond to challenges in a more authentic and constructive way. - Practise Mindfulness:
Engage in mindfulness practices such as meditation or deep breathing exercises. These techniques can help you stay present in the moment and observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment. By cultivating mindfulness, you can develop a greater sense of peace and acceptance, even in the face of adversity. - Validate Your Emotions:
Give yourself permission to feel a wide range of emotions, both positive and negative. Understand that it’s normal to experience sadness, anger, or frustration at times. Instead of pushing these emotions away, validate them and allow yourself to fully experience and express them in a healthy way. Remember, all emotions serve a purpose and can provide valuable insights into our inner world. - Practice Gratitude:
Cultivating a sense of gratitude can help shift your focus towards the positive aspects of your life without denying the existence of negative experiences. Take time each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for, no matter how small. This can help you maintain a positive mindset while still acknowledging the challenges you may be facing. - Seek Support:
Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or professionals who can offer guidance and empathy. Sharing your experiences and emotions with others can provide validation and help you navigate difficult times with a more balanced perspective. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help when you need it.
By implementing these strategies, you can practice genuine positivity while still acknowledging and accepting the full range of your emotions and experiences. Remember, it’s okay to not be okay, and embracing the ups and downs of life is an essential part of personal growth and resilience. Let go of toxic positivity and embrace a healthier, more authentic approach to positivity.