If you look at the definition of grief it is “to feel intense sorrow”, it is “something that causes great distress to someone”. Another definition explains it as a “keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret; a cause or occasion of keen distress or sorrow”. Whatever definition you look at one thing is clear … grieving is not a nice place to be in. It is not somewhere you would want to stay forever.
Understanding the Depths of Grief
So many of us are struggling with grief as well as trauma at the moment. Grief has multiple dimensions. Grief is not exclusive to the loss of a loved one. You can grieve for different reasons. Something like a missed opportunity can also cause grief. The loss of a job is another example. Anything that has been lost no matter how big or how small it might seem can cause one to grieve.
Coping with Collective Loss
I feel like the past year has given us more than enough to grieve about! The world has been turned upside down. People has lost their jobs, their livelihoods. Others have lost parents, children, loved ones. Families have become smaller. Marriages and relationships are struggling. We have lost opportunities and gave up dreams. We have lost our sense of freedom and our way of being. At some stage all this loss has to take its toll on even the strongest of people. It is just too much, and all of it in a very short space of time.
The Transformative Journey of Grief
The thing about grief though is that it is not permanent. True, it never completely goes away, but it does change. You learn to live with it and every day the pain of the loss you suffered is a little less present, and causes a little less pain. Grief is a passage, not a place to stay at for ever. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. Grief is an emotion that needs to be experienced, you need to give yourself time and properly grieve your losses in order to move on. And you do want to move on right?
If you are struggling to cope with any kind of loss, please get in contact with me for grief counselling.